A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
Updated: Jan 25, 2021
(to be sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from the SOUND OF MUSIC)
Flight of mad hornets. Green radiator dripple. Wheelchair pushed by a midget-sized cripple.
Bag ladies shopping
at White House bazaars.
Dopes shoot at Neptune and faded rock stars.
Violins lashing. Boy mowing daisies. Hot tubs filled with soldiers and crazies.
Whores hustling Tupperware. Bare-chested clowns.
Wall street advisors with painted-on frowns.
(chorus) When Dick Nixon sings.
as his face burns, swimming in the Dead Sea.
He drinks from a half-empty pitcher of lies,
which makes Woodward and Bernstein flee.
Lipstick on bulldogs.
Dried garbage in waterfalls. Men shaving profits.
Cadmium-type rain squalls.
Square dancers tango in leotards and tights, while Helen Keller's home watching the fights.
(chorus) When the frogs hum. When the bees croak.
When Sidney Poitier gets mad.
I go to the kitchen to fry eggs and spam. Then I don't feel soooo bad.
Originally published in Feh! A Journal of Odious Poetry 1992
Excerpt: FROM THE DEPTHS OF THYME